By BB Curtis
According to Webster, a grudge is “a feeling of ill-will.” It is an ongoing animosity toward another. Why do we harbor grudges? Usually, it is because we feel that someone has wronged us. Another person did something that hurt us in some way . . . physically, emotionally or mentally. That person made us miserable. They lied, they cheated, they stole, they took away our dignity, they made us feel small and unimportant, they took our promotion, they stabbed us in the back. We hate them.
BUT
According to Judeo-Christian teaching, “You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself; I am the Lord.” (Lev. 19:18) In Toltec teaching (according to Don Miguel Ruiz) the Second Agreement is to “not take anything personally”. The Judge within us has sent down another decision; however, the Judge is one of the Parasites with whom we are at war (or should be). The inner Judge causes each of us to determine how someone else should be punished for harming us. The grudge we hold is part of that punishment. In conjunction, the Third Agreement in Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements is “don’t make assumptions”. We can never really know why someone else has acted poorly toward us so we should never even assume that the intention of that person was to treat us in a manner that is less than appropriate.
Zen Buddhists practice “Entrance by Conduct” which consists of four acts, the first of which is “to know how to requite hatred.” In Hinduism, the law of Karma steps in. Every negative must be paid. Thus every grudge held onto will cause a consequence to the holder. The Qur’an says, “The ultimate judgment belongs to God alone, not to man (3:73). The Babylonians believed that Belit-Sheri, the scribe of the underworld, kept the records of human activities so that she could advise the Queen of the Dead, Ereshkigal, on what each individual’s judgment should be, the judgment that Ereshkigal would mandate. The Syro-Mesopotamian Goddess, Isara, was their Queen of Judgment. Osiris (Egyptian) ruled Amenthes, the abode of the spirits of the deceased, where He passed their final judgment. Pagans along with most other earth-based instruct followers to do as they see fit, BUT they are not to harm anyone including themselves. Judgment of any kind is not really part of the model for Pagans, traditional witches, Wiccans, Druids, and the rest of the earth-based religious/spiritual groups.
I guess I could go on and on; but, no matter, the final outcome is that nowhere could I find a religious reference that stated that we are to EVER judge each other. My guess is that we humans have enough to do to just keep our individual selves under control. I wonder how any of us (those of us with consciences and some ethical standards) would feel if we knew how much we’d hurt others without any intention, especially if it were someone undeserving who got hurt.
What if you got home one evening, popped open a soda, poured it over ice, threw your shoes in a corner, and slumped down in your favorite chair as you hit the power button on the TV remote to watch the news and as the picture fades in you see a 50 car pile-up on the major arterial on which you just drove home. The whole road is closed due to the accident that caused five deaths and over 55 major injuries. How could this be? You just drove home, and it was a little slow-and-go, but nothing was unusual except for that jerk in the big, white Escalade who kept cutting you off. You know, the one that you called every name in the book? The one on which you finally took out your vengeance? The one you cut off well and good at mile marker 47? The one you now see on your TV screen, swung sideways at the head of the pile-up at mile marker 47 that caused death, injury, destruction, and delays for all those other people who were just trying to get home to their families after a hard day’s work . . . just like you did.
Imagine the path of devastation you may have lying behind you.
© Bobbi Curtis 2015, All Rights Reserved
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