by BB Curtis

In 1930 a radio show began that was a mainstay in the United States for 24 years. At one time, one of the most famous voices on the radio was The Shadow – Orson Welles: “Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows!” The Shadow could read minds and become invisible. He solved mysteries. He was a pretty talented guy with a great speaking voice. Although this is the not the Shadow of our discussion, we are going to address some of that evil that lurks.

In some cultures, the misinformation of others’ opinions (especially those we absorbed during early childhood) that cements itself into our minds is called “personal demons.” In others, these are considered to be the lies that turn the beautiful dreams of our lives into nightmares. According to some, this is our internal judge that was created by those around us who told us the lies (according to the Toltec belief system). In others still, all the garbage that is fed to us by others, that trails around with us making us feel self-conscious, useless, self-destructive, insignificant, unattractive, unintelligent, stripping us of our self-esteem and making us think that we are less than what we are is known as Shadow. All the misconceptions and hatred that others fed to us come back to us because our subconscious believed it. It was said so it must be true. That’s how the subconscious works. It is emotional baggage that we drag around day after day, year after weary year. It is the albatross that wraps itself around our necks and will not release its claws. It stunts our growth. It stops us from reaching our full potential. It makes us think that we are less than what we are and, consequently, could be. It holds people in the cycle of poverty. It stops the budding new artist from eventually becoming “The Old Master.” It slows progress as the inventor believes that his invention is as inferior as he is, and thus the invention is never marketed. It creates deep depression and manic behaviors. It makes us fear public reprisal in return for our speaking out about our convictions. It stunts us and the world around us. Many things that were said to you in anger or frustration still lurk deep in your mind, down in your heart, swirling in your soul. Who knows what evil lurks? The Shadow surely does for it holds all the evil ever spoken about us and all the indications that were ever given to us by our parents, siblings, teachers, peers, spouses, and kids that we were inferior, less than a person, not good enough, not appealing and on and on and on. Sort of gives a new and darker meaning to the song, “Me and my Shadow.”

How many times have you reflected upon an uncomfortable situation, reliving the drivel that made you feel miserable, hearing the words that caused you pain over and over again, making you feel terrible about yourself repeatedly? Once is not enough for many of us. We can’t let go of the old hurt. We are unable to detach from the scene and instead put it on a never-ending loop so that we increase our feelings of distress and further impress upon our subconscious minds how very inferior we are. Some of us are absolute experts at this process and can go back 50 years to self-destructive instances we can clearly remember to say nothing of all those times that we just incorporated someone else’s toxic thinking into our heads beginning before clear memory. Our masochism seems to know no bounds.

There’s a scene in Peter Pan where his shadow becomes detached from him, and he returns to the Darlings’ house to retrieve it. He takes some time and trouble to attempt reattachment before Wendy sews it back on for him. Ah, if it were that easy to dump my Shadow there’d be no sewing going on at my house. However, this is real life; and we should deal with our Shadows swiftly and effectively. Time to grab your emotional sword and start hacking away with deft blows and holy vengeance.

Remember that evil spoken about us is not necessarily our evil. We’ve all tried to console a broken-hearted friend by telling them that what someone else said told a lot about the speaker and not about the person who was the brunt of the comment. Like many other things in life, it’s a lot easier to say than it is to convince ourselves of the truth when we are on the receiving end of abuse. However, there are ways to rid ourselves of the gunk and crud. One is to set aside at least an hour of peaceful time when you will not be disturbed. First, thank whatever power you believe in (even if the only power you believe in is yourself) for having created you. You are, after all, the only you there is. You have a special group of talents and abilities that no one else has. Now, give yourself your consent to be honest. Tell yourself aloud that you have nothing to hide and that you are able to look at yourself without the mud that has been slung your way. You are clean and new and ready to start out in a better direction. Now take some paper and a writing instrument of choice and write down all your good qualities. Put them in the form of affirmative statements such as: I am beautiful. I am smart. I am helpful to others. I’m a good cook. I’m a good mother. I’m a loving and faithful wife. Keep the sentences short and to the point. Use the entire hour – time yourself. If you run out of nice things to say, repeat some. That may get you thinking about some other great qualities that you forgot about yourself. After this part of the exercise, you deserve a nice bubble bath – indulge.

Next, construct an email and send it to your friends. Here is the text. Feel free to copy and paste it and send it out:

ONE Word
Describe ME in ONE Word . . . just one word! Send it to me only, then send this message to your friends and see how many strange things people say about you! This could be fun! Just hit reply and send me my one word back. Then forward this message to your friends (including me) and see what they say about you!

I’ve seen this exercise on Facebook as well, and it’s not quite the same as the email version since the responses are plastered on the internet. Copy and paste this text onto Facebook:

Describe ME in ONE Word . . . just one word! Put it in the comments below, then copy and paste this message into your status and see how many strange things people say about you! This could be fun!

The responses I got back made me feel special. I was better able to see myself through the eyes of others. You see, it’s very easy for someone to say something rotten and nasty out of anger. It is very difficult to give someone a heartfelt compliment. This is human nature. We are all guilty of the same things. So don’t sit and feel sorry for yourself because everyone is human. Just go get the list of good things about you and add the positive, descriptive words from your friends to it. Unless you truly are an ogre and need to change your name to Shrek, your friends will give you a better picture of what you portray to the world.

The last thing you need to do is to forgive everyone whom you think wronged you — all those creeps who put you down and made you feel unworthy. By the way, that includes you. Yes, you. Another aspect of human nature is that we are our own worst critics. Of course, if you are an egomaniac this may not hold true, but your one-word responses to your email should give credence to the fact that you need more work than one magazine-length article could possibly supply if that’s the case. Most of us do not fall into that category; and, frankly, anyone with a highly inflated ego would have stopped reading this somewhere during the second paragraph. They would not ever believe that someone could feel inconsequential because of a comment from another person. If you’ve made it this far, it’s time to forgive and get over it. Let go of the muck. It isn’t worth hanging on to. If you had a rotten tomato in your hand, would you carry it around with you for a while, a day, a week, a month, a year? NO! What would that do for you? The junk that was told to you that made you feel bad is nothing more than a rotten tomato –THROW IT AWAY! It’s drippy and it stinks.

It’s now time for another bath. Light a couple of candles and turn off the electric lights in the bathroom. Use your favorite scent of bath oil, essential oil(s), soap, bath salts, or whatever pleases you. My personal favorite is lemongrass essential oil. Play your favorite type of relaxing music. Lounge in the tub for a bit and then bathe. As you do, imagine all the gunk that settled in your mind, heart, and soul over the years being washed out of you. Lie back in the tub and visualize all the gray and dirty brown goo seeping from your pores and collecting in the bathwater near the drain. Watch the water wash the darkness from your soul. When you feel that you’ve released as much crud as you have inside, pull the plug, and remain in the tub until all the water and that negative gunk have gone down the drain. Start fresh. It’s a new you. Be the best you that you can be.

To purchase the purest oils available, click here.

Live well!

© Bobbi Curtis 2015, All Rights Reserved